Donnie Darko in Kabukicho

I went and saw "Donnie Darko" in Kabukicho last night, it was packed, there were even people standing in the aisles. Well, it was ´1000 first Wednesday of the month, but still. The movie was excellent- sufficiently recalibrated my brain to where I stumbled out into the Shinjuku evening, bumping into transvestites and wannabe yakuzas. It was remarkable the reaction I was experiencing last night; I was on the train, and I looked at everybody- talking, reading the cell phones, sleeping, standing and staring into space- and I realized that we were all just ants in the hive, that we were all going to die, possible sooner than later, and how pathetic every single one of us is. In noticing this, I then felt an overwhelming sense of empathy and love for everyone in the train, for everyone in the world. It was like I looked at the people and discovered that everybody is just trying to do their thing, we all have our problems and misunderstandings, we all are on various levels of self realization, and I loved them for that as much as for each person's mistakes as much as each person's small victories. The train shook, and I saw us all heading toward death, a death that we all had to face alone and somehow find the courage to do it. I was standing next to this short Japanese businessman in his late 40's reading a newspaper, and I had the almost unquenchable desire to give him a big hug. I knew he'd freak, and they'd stop the train, and take me to jail, but it didn't matter. I still wanted to give him a hug, even if he hated me for it.