Never stop

You know when those moments steal upon you where there comes a lull, a pause in the conundrum, and those large, grand friends, projects, meaningful desires come leaning over your shoulder, asking you questions...the questions don’t stop, they never quit, always, every time another space opens, a figure eight in your mind. But you pull back, you try not to listen as it nags (you see it nagging, but it’s still merely asking) you empty your mind of thought and flee, using much energy and strength of will, don’t look at the canvases, the empty pages, just go and try to forget that rush, the laughter, the madness, the tears, the ragged depths that claw their way into your lungs and scream at you to fly, fly, don’t let a moment be wasted in festering, swamplike rooms that smell of fear. I see it coming now, I may have the fortitude to look it in the eye and not break down in mute rage, a nameless fury that I myself called into being and then rejected as not worthy of me. No, I will not regret one moment, I swear to you, my self, my being who is not merely I but a piece of everything that ever regretted on a wretched evening alone. Never stop.